the deepest color is blue

fragments of your existence are elevated 
by you alone. 
above the top of your head, you can find 
sea glass, cuttlefish bones and empty shells-
the vast majority of self, 
is replenished by holding your breath. 

slipping transforms into falling-
quick, thoughtlessly and all at once into 
the deep end. 
this manifests into anxiety until you 
realize-
no one is coming to save you. 

miraculously, naturally, or what have you-
that day when you almost drowned,
you learned how to swim. 

you forgot your fears. you forgot your worries. 
the realizations came quicker than the waves and
your body did the talking so you
swam ashore. 
when no one was looking.
when,
for a split second,
you thought it was over.

from time to time, you still wander into the deep end.
just to see if you can save yourself again. 
when the shallow end gets a bit boring
and the sand is occupied,
you step into the sea. 
then you fall into it. 
you run on top of it (as fast as you can) and
dive into it. 
never once have you sunk. 

so, what exactly are you so afraid of? 

– falling instead of floating