Break-up Seazon

Just for clarification, I spelled “season” like that because I wanted to include SZA in the title but I couldn’t think of a clever way to do so. Anyways, I wanted to talk about a sensitive topic: breakups.

If you know me, you know I’ve recently gone through a breakup. Yes, it’s just like everything I imagined and it’s not even my first but it hurts just as bad as the first, if not even more. I’ve gotten my heartbroken on numerous occasions; by friends, by family, by boys and by sports honestly. Getting your heart broken is inevitable but it gets better.

I’m still learning a lot of shit on my own. Growth is crazy if I’m being honest. The universe is crazy to, hell, I’M CRAZY. Breakups make you feel like you’re gonna collapse and drop dead sometimes but it’s okay, you just get over it eventually if you have strong-will.

Anyways, some things I’ve been doing to minimize all the pain I feel are self-reflection, crying (A LOT), watching movies, watching anime, eating anything I want to eat (I’m taking a break from being a vegetarian), dancing, buying things I don’t need, eating rips, watching “how to get over your ex videos”, going to the gym (huge step for me), accepting, blocking bro’s number until my emotions are stable, just enjoying the people around me and accepting that this is only 1 scene in my figurative movie.

I have had many lovers; figuratively, literally and metaphorically. There will always be more. Sometimes I wish I could wrap all of the honey-moon stage memories into a box and save them, I love love so much. It’s funny to think that you can go from loving someone and talking about “forevers” with them and then stop speaking. It’s awful, but it’s a huge part of the process. I love and hate dealing with shit like this because you get so comfortable– but sometimes we just want to be comfortable. Sometimes we forget how great we are. Sometimes we take ourselves for granted.

Everyone always says “love yourself” and yes, that is so easy to say, but so little of us do that. I barely do it. I am a criminal of self-destruction but I’m trying to push past my limits. I am not horrible and nobody is. If you loved someone, you loved them… even if what they did to you was horrible, your stupid ass loved them for a reason. What I’m saying is, it’s no one’s fault that shit didn’t work out. That’s just the way things are. They can be beautiful in the moment so realize that and hang onto it.

When the love runs out you have to let it go. And maybe, MAYBE it will come back once you’re okay again. Figure yourself out, rock with who you are and just be comfortable in your silence, in your thoughts and in the mornings when you just want to cry. Everything is okay. Love in an investment and it’s not anything for amateurs. It takes forever to feel something that’s real.

Here is a playlist of songs to bounce back from a break-up:

Here are some videos as well:

I needed these videos waaaaaaay before I watched them.

And here are some of my favorite snacks:

bigkatfakenuggspastaquesidillasripsvoodoo

I hope these reach you well, continue to love and to be loved.

Life only begins and ends with you.

-new chapter

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