I know I haven’t been blogging as much and I’m disappointed in myself. But, I’m also proud of myself. I took a while to just grind out everything and lay my cards on the table, the truth is: I’m financially unstable, I have no idea if I will attend college next semester, and I’m not sure how my education will continue to prosper at this rate.
Lucky for me though, I ain’t no bitch.
I was having a hard time being home when I first came back from college because I was letting people, my emotions, and self-doubt bombard me. I started to judge myself and dwell on stupid shit that really doesn’t matter because it has nothing to do with me. I started to feel like I lost. But let me say it again, I ain’t no bitch. I am not and never will be to humble to get on my knees and pray.
“Ask and he shall answer” That phrase often rings in my head from years of my Mother uplifting me. Anyways, I just kept pushing. I wrote down all the goals I wanted to achieve for myself and affirmed them everyday by saying them out loud and believing the words that came out of my mouth. I ended up getting my poetry published in 3 online literature magazines, acquiring 3 jobs and hopefully winning some contests I have entered.
To put it in short, I’ve been busy. Making music, making art, eating nothing but vegetables, writing in my journal, meditating, walking dogs, seating people at Applebee’s and rocking babies to sleep.
All of it has been beautiful and motivating. To struggle and to have faith, to love and to keep loving, to fight and forgive. Life isn’t so bad.
-you’ll get through