Anxiety

I’ve been struggling with anxiety for a long time. It’s not something you can just stop or something you grow out of. It comes and it goes. Usually, my anxiety is triggered by the emotions I can feel coming from other people. If the air feels a little denser or the tone in someone’s voice changes ever so slightly, I freak out. I’ve always seemed so calm to other people but the reality of who I am falls deeper than the surface. It takes time to really learn who you are and to take care of that self. It was hard dealing with my anxiety, especially being in new environments with new people. It’s worrisome, you get nervous and you start to become tense as your breath quickens its pace.  But, it never lasts too long. It might grab you until you suffocate but it eventually lets go. That’s always been funny to me because no matter how large or how small our problems are, we can blow them up to be larger than the entire world. We rush around worrying about getting rejected or gaining a couple pounds when the entire world is deteriorating in front of our eyes but for some reason, we can’t see that. This world we live in has everlasting anxiety. We burn it, take away its people, and we expect everything to be okay. It’s 2017 and I’m worrying about if I’ll even live long enough to have children. We have to live right now today, before it’s too late. So yes I have anxiety, but that hasn’t once been a label that I’ll carry to excuse myself for blowing up my problems. My anxiety formulates from the detriments of this Earth, not pleasing you.

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